Joel's Babysittin' Blues

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A Noble Cause

Joel, Jordan, Ashley, and Random Kid were walking through the streets. "(sigh) It's Spring Vacation, guys. What are we gonna do?", Joel asked. "Well, we could play with the other kids in various types of sports", Jordan suggested. "That's foolish! Playing basketball against pros like that, we are sure to lose", Random Kid pointed out. "Well then what will we do?", Ashley asked. The friends were about to cross the street when Jordan said, "Hey, where's Joel?" And it's true. The leader of the pack was nowhere to be found. "Do you think someone kidnapped him?", Ashley asked. "No, that's impossible. We would've seen if some masked guy snatched Joel from under our noses", Random Kid said. "Guys, I'm over here!", Joel called. He was by Games 'R' Us, the video game store. There, the newest video game system, the KayStation 3, was released.

"Oh my gosh, the KayStation 3!", Random Kid said in excitement. "It looks just like I dreamt it would", Jordan said. "What do you mean? You saw it on a poster before", Ashley said. "Why waste our time gawking at it out here when we can buy it", Joel said, waving a wad of cash. "Yeah!", the other 3 said and walked inside the store. "We would like to buy the KayStation 3", Joel said, and laid the money on the counter. "Ha! Is this some kind of joke?", the cashier asked. "No, this is real money. Papery, wavy, and --", Jordan said. "No, the fact that you think you can buy the KayStation with a measly $45", the cashier said. "He's right. Nowadays, not even a Sonic the Hedgehog game is that cheap", Random Kid said. "Well, then how much money is this system, Mr. Know-It-All?", Ashley asked.

"$500", the cashier said. "WHAT?!", the four kids yelled. "Art thou mad?!", Jordan yelled. "Hey, this thing just came out last week. If you can't pay the price, then either buy a used game or get the heck out", the cashier threatened. "Well I'm sure if we all pool together money, we can pay for this thing", Joel suggested. "Yeah! To the piggy banks!", Random Kid commanded. Minutes later, the four students joined together with their piggy banks. Jordan grabbed a hacksaw and smashed the four pigged banks. Total amount of money: $5.89. "To the college funds!", Joel commanded.

Minutes later, the four friends joined together yet again with money from the official bank. Total money: $405.89. This is still too little. There's no way we can buy it", Ashley lamented.. "Don't worry, Ashley. Where there's a will, there's a way", Joel said. And before long, the 4 were searching the yellow pages for anyone who needed help. They found an ad saying "NEED BABYSITTER IMMEDIATELY. CALL 516-096-2343." Random Kid phoned this house and the following conversation ensued:

Guy: Hello?

Random Kid: Yes, this is Random Kid. I hear you are in need of a babysitter?

Guy: Yes, me and my wife are heading to the city for a week and we need someone to stay with the kids.

Random Kid: Well, my 3 friends and I are happy to help.

Guy: That's great! Be here by tomorrow.

Random Kid: Okay. By the way, how many kids will we be babysitting?

Guy: Oh, more or less... 12.

Random Kid: What?! What the heck was going through your mind when you had 12 KIDS?!

Guy: I was thinking I had to get birth control.

Random Kid: What?! Man, you are sick! You hear me?! Sick!

Guy: Fine, if you don't want the job...

Random Kid: No! No, I... (sigh) I'll be there.

Random Kid hung up the phone and turned around to see Joel, Jordan, and Ashley with their mouths open. "The dude had 12 kids? What the ---?!", Jordan yelled in disgust. "I know that's pretty disturbing. But we have to do it for the money, or else our Spring vacation is slumped", Joel said. And the 4 friends departed, until they would reunite the next day for the babysitting job of a lifetime. Little did they know, it would be the last babysitting job they'd ever do.

Meet the Family

The next morning, the 4 friends met at the house of the guy whose kids they'd be babysitting for. "I still don't know about this. Watching over 12 kids for a whole week? It seems impossible", Ashley lamented. "Impossible? Impossible?! Nothing is impossible for us four amigos! We've been to the North Pole and back! We've saved the town from a rogue monster! We've battled through thick and thin, life and death! We can overcome anything! We are JJARK!", Jordan announced. " 'JJARK' ", Joel asked. "Joel Jordan Ashley RandomKid", Jordan explained. Silence. "Okay, so that may not be the best team name, but it's the best I can do for now", Jordan admitted. And with that, the 4 kids walked into the big house.

When you first step inside it, you'd think that this house is a mansion. But in actuality, it's just a big house. "Hello? We're here!", Random Kid called. Suddenly, a random boy came BUSTING through the wall with a chainsaw! "What the heck?!", Joel yelled in alarm! "Who are you?", the boy asked. "That, my friend, is classified information", Joel said, in a James Bond-like tone. "Fine then", the boy said and ran up to Joel, ready to chop his leg off! Joel quickly jumped in the air, hastily dodging the crazed child's lunge!

Just then, the father rushed into the room and put the child in a headlock! "Tobey, what did I tell you about strangers?", the dad asked. "To hit them where it hurts", the child answered. "No, I mean, strangers who come into the house", the dad corrected. "Grab the shotgun", the child answered. "No! I -- Ugh. You know what, just get out of here", the dad let the kid go. The boy gave Joel a dirty look then rushed up the stairs. "What's with that guy?", Joel asked, "And WHY did he have a CHAINSAW?" "Well, Tobey's not that fond of strangers", the man said. "So you let him carry a chainsaw?", Joel asked, disgusted. "Hey, YOU try raising 12 kids", the man argued. "That's what me and my 3 friends are gonna do for the rest of the week, Genius!", Joel pointed out.

"Joel, please control my temper", Random Kid said. "If I had controlled my temper, that boy would've made my severed legs into Chicken Foot soup!", Joel yelled. "What's with all the commotion?", the mother asked, walking into the room. "Your son tried to mur --", Joel shouted, before Random Kid covered his mouth. "We're here to babysit the little dickens", Ashley said. "Oh that's great...", the mom said. Now while this all happened, the boy named "Tobey" rushed upstairs to his fellow siblings. "Guys! Guys! We have a problem!", Tobey shouted. "What is it, Tobe", a girl asked. "The sitters are coming! The sitters are coming!", Tobey yelled. Silence. "The babysitters", Tobey corrected. "Oh... AAAH!", the kids shouted.

"Calm down. Don't you remember our motto? "When a stranger comes by a bus, it is quite obvious they went to babysit us. However, all 12 of us, the daughters and son, will take care of the sitter, 'till they are out on the run" ", Tobey recited. "Yeah! ", a girl cheered, "We'll make those sitters' lives a living --" "Hel-lo", said one of the boys who had just gotten out of bed. "Kids, come down. The babysitters are here!", the mother called. The 12 kids raced downstairs with devious smirks on their faces.

"I'm Thomas Smith, and this is my wife, Katy", the Dad named "Tom" said. The twelve kids rushed down the stairs and stood next to their respective parents. "And these are the kids", Tom said. The list of kids can be seen below:

• Tom, Jr. (a.k.a. "Tobey")
• Ryan
• Timmy
• Mark-Evans
• Carl (Twin #1)
• Danny (Twin #2)
• Sarah
• Mary
• Carol
• Nora
• Jane
• Katy, Jr.

"I see, well, hi you guys", Ashley greeted. The kids gave her a dirty look. "Heh. We're gonna have a lot of fun, aren't we?", Ashley asked with a weak smile. "Yeah. At least, we are", Sarah said, deviously. "Kids. Don't intimidate the babysitters", Tom said. "But that's how we bring them in for the kill", Sarah said. " "KILL?!" What's going on?", Random Kid asked. "Oh, these kids always manage to make their babysitters run out early. But I can't imagine these angels doing that", Katy said. " "Angels"? Considering one of them pulled out a chainsaw on me?", Joel asked angrily. "Here we go again", Tobey sighed.

The Departure of Parents Means the Beginning of Torture

A loud honk was heard from outside. "Augh! A killer goose!", Jordan yelled. "No, it's just our taxi", Tom said. He and Katy walked outside with their luggage and climbed inside the cab. "Hey, kids!", the parents called. "Bye!", the children acknowledged. The taxi drove away as gas filled the air. "*cough cough*", Joel.. Joel coughed, what else?

The kids and the babysitters walked back into the house. "So... you don't like us, and we don't like you. But we'll be together for 168 hours, and ya better get used to it", Joel ordered. "Listen here, boahy", Sarah said, "No one. And I mean, no one tells the Smith kids what to do to." "Well he just did, nn-goyl! Whatcha gonna do about it?", Random Kid taunted. Sarah jumped in the air and kicked Random Kid. He flew through the air and crashed into the wall! "Hey! No one does that to my crudely-drawn counterpart!", Jordan yelled and aimed his foot at Sarah. Ryan hurled a hacksaw at Jordan! Jordan ducked on the floor as the hacksaw crashed on top of Random Kid!

"This is crazy!", Ashley shouted. "Don't succumb to their foolishness! These kids will listen to us!", Joel commanded. Tobey charged at Joel and head-butted into his stomach! Joel flipped through the air, pulled out a rubber chicken, and beat Tobey with it! Tobey dodged and bit Joel on his leg! "Yowch!", Joel yelled and tried to shake the boy off! The rest of the kids jumped Joel and pinned him to the ground! Ashley ran into the kitchen and pulled out a flamethrower! She unleashed the fire upon the kids who had piled on top of Joel. However, the kids hastily jumped off Joel, and the fire caught on the poor boy! "AWGH! I'M ON FIRE!", Joel yelled.

Carl (one of the twins) tripped Joel on the ground. Suddenly, the floor caught fire! Mary pulled out two handguns at shot rapidly at Random Kid! Random Kid dodged the bullets and smacked Mary! Nora snuck up between Random Kid, but he turned around and shocked Nora with a taser! Danny jumped on Ashley's head and pulled her hair! Ashley grabbed Danny and BASHED him on the floor! By now, smoke filled the air! Everyone rushed out the house as it exploded! "Now look what you kids did", Jordan accused. "Us? It was that blond-haired freak that used the flamethrower", Sarah said. And an entire argument broke out that would have no meaning if I were to type it...

A Kids' Night-Out

" -- and that's why blue cheese is purple!", Timmy finished. "Weird. I never thought of it like that", Jordan said. "The heck with colored cheese! Where do we go now?", Joel asked. It was dusk, and the gang had been arguing for many hours. "I know a place", Sarah said. "Oh no. We are not taking advice from YOU", Random Kid resisted. "It's a shame. The place has good food", Sarah taunted. Random Kid's eyes shot open. "Good food? You mean... like a restaurant?", Random Kid asked. "Correction: It is a restaurant", Sarah answered. "That's all I needed to know. Sarah, lead us to the random restaurant!", Joel commanded.

By 9 PM, Sarah had led the group to the back of the restaurant. "So what's so great about this place?", Joel asked. "Two words: fried pork", Sarah said. "Fried pork?! Combining the two best things in the world: deep-frying and pork? How do I know yer not bluffin'?", Joel asked. Sarah pulled a laptop out of her pocket. "See for yourself", Sarah said. Joel searched "fried pork" on Google, and he found a link to a Joel Severe Wiki article about a restaurant called "Porque 'n Beens." It was founded in 1986 by couple Sullivan Porque & Sally Beens. It is best known for selling fried pork with a side of refried beans.

"Well I'll be darned", Ashley said. "What are we waiting for? Let's eat!", Tobey said. "No, you moron! We can't just go out there in the open and steal food!", Nora pointed out. "But I can't wait 'til it closes to eat", Mark-Evans complained. "Maybe we won't have to...", Sarah said with a devious smirk. "Looks like Sarah's up to somethin'", Jordan said. "Shut up, I'm formulating a plan", Sarah said. There was a long silence. "Okay, I got it!", she finally said.

A few minutes later, Ashley walked into the restaurant and approached the manager. "Hey", Ashley said. "Why hello there young lady. Is there something you want to tell me?", the manager asked. "Yes. Can you name all of your employees?", Ashley asked. "Yeah. There's Mater... and there's Sally... and there's Doc", the manager said. "Oh you're just naming characters from Disney-Pixar's Cars", Ashley said. "Oh... why do you need to know this, anyway?", the manager asked. "Just answer it or else I'll tell my friends that this place has roaches and shut it down!", Ashley threatened. "Okay, okay! Team Pork, assemble!", the manager called. A whole bunch of workers showed up behind the manager. "Okay. This is Ted, and this is George, and this is Olivia, and this..."

While the manager was introducing the workers to Ashley, the rest of the gang snuck into the kitchen. "(sniff) Ahhh...", went Joel. "This place smells of pig. I LOVE the smell of pig!", Jordan exclamed. "So does that mean you love the smell of Tobey?", Random Kid asked. "Hey!", Tobey yelled and charged at Random Kid. Random Kid dodged and Tobey crashed into the oven! "What was that?", the manager asked, overhearing the clatter from the kitchen. "It was probably just a fly", Ashley said, trying to cover up the whole thing. "Quiet you nitwit! We can't let anyone hear us!", Sarah whispered. "Hey, Random Freak over there got me angry", Tobey said. "And Random Freak is gonna kill you if you don't shut cho yap", Random Kid threatened. Tobey gulped.

While all this happened, Joel was busy stuffing fried pigs in his pockets. "Come on guys! This pork won't steal itself", Joel said. "I don't like the word "steal." It makes me sound like a criminal", Katy Jr said. "Don't think of it as stealing", Sarah began, "think of it as --" "STEALING!", the manager yelled, bursting into the room. "Yeah that's it", Sarah said sarcastically. "You!", the manager yelled, pointing at Ashley, "You were with THEM! You traitor!" "Actually I wouldn't say traitor. I was more of a decoy or an accomplice", Ashley said. "Silence fool! Seize her!", the manager commanded. The workers lunged at Ashley! Ashley jumped through the air, hastily dodging the attack, and landed near her friends! "Quick! Grab as many pigs as you can and make a run for it!", Ashley shouted. "You mean, grabs as many "Tobey"s as you can?", Random Kid asked. "Will you stop that?!", Tobey yelled.

The kids ran out of the restaurant, with the manager in hot pursuit. The kids took a turn into the woods, where they hoped they'd escape the wrath of the manager. However, just when they thought they were safe, a giant robot came of nowhere and shot missiles at them. Jordan pushed Ashley out of the way as he took the devastating blow. "Jordan!", Ashley yelled. She rushed to Jordan's lifeless body. "Is he dead?", Sarah asked. "No, only temporarily knocked out", Random Kid said. "Darn!", Sarah yelled in disgust, "I mean... yay."

The robot continued to fire rapidly at our heroes. Joel took out a shield and reflected the missiles. Then he hurled the shield at the robot and that caused it to explode. Out of the robot's control center was the manager! "So you tried to kill us, eh?", Ashley asked, "Well ya lost cold toikey!" "Yeah, and what's more, we still got yo pork!", Joel said. "I'll get you kids if it's the last things I do!", the manager vowed. "Yeah, you keep believing that, boahy", Danny said. "Hey, Danny said "boahy." Perhaps these kids will learn a thing or too from the masters", Joel said. And then the kids set up camp and had many tasty pieces of fried pork.

A Somewhat Heartwarming Evening

The three friends and the family of 12 siblings enjoyed their meals. "This stuff ain't half bad", Tobey said. "Yep. We sure steaked out tonight", Danny said. "But we couldn't have done it without the help of our babysitters", Sarah announced. The whole crowd stared straight at her. "What?", she asked. "You just complimented them. If anything, you vow to kill the 'sitters, not acknowledge them", Timmy said. "Yeah, but I have a good feeling about these guys. They're not scums like the rest of them", Sarah said.

"Wait. Sarah. The Sarah. You're proud of us?", Jordan asked. "Yeah. We could be good friends", Sarah said. "This is impossible! Pinch me, I'm dreaming!", Joel said. Random Kid pinched him. "Ow! What is wrong with you?!", Joel yelled. "Well, you said to --!" But before Random Kid could finish that sentence, Joel smacked him! "How ya like that, you random idiot!", Joel asked. Random Kid punched Joel! Joel flew back and hit a tree! "Heh heh. Who's the idiot now?", Random asked. Joel lunged at Random! Ashley ran between the two, thinking she could stop it all, but got head-butted in the stomach by Joel!

Ashley flew back and crashed into the lake. "You fool!", Jordan yelled. "Stop it, all of you!", Nora commanded. Jordan swung at Nora, but she blocked the hit and bashed her head into Jordan's! As Joel laughed at this, Random Kid tackled him and pinned the guy to the ground! Joel grabbed a butcher knife (that had been used to cut the fried pork) and slashed at Random! A huge rip stretched across Random Kid's shirt! Joel swung at Random with the knife, but Random ducked and uppercutted Joel across the jaw! Joel flew back and the knife soared across the air into Tobey's hand!

Tobey went to slice up Joel, but Ashley grabbed the boy's foot and pulled him onto the ground! Tobey aimed the knife at Ashley and went in for the kill, but Ashley held the knife back! Joel kicked Random Kid in the face, and Random Kid bumped into Jordan! Jordan pulled on Random's hair as Random punched Jordan as hard as he could in the stomach repeatedly! Joel got up and made a run for it, but Carl jumped out from behind Joel and strangled his neck! Joel struggled to breathe as he desperately tried to pull this guy off him! Joel succeeded, and stomped on Carl as he lay on the floor!

The rest of the kids (excluding Sarah, which is kind of weird) jumped Joel, pinned him to the ground, and beat the guy repeatedly! While this occured, Ashley was able to pull the knife out of Tobey's hand and slice off half of his hair! Tobey was not fond of this new haircut and brutally MAULED Ashley like a crazed gorilla! Ashley hastily punched Tobey each time he scratched her, but the enraged boy proved too much for the tweenage girl to handle and she made a run for it! Random Kid stepped on Jordan's foot, which caused Jordan to let go of Random's hair and growl in pain! Random took advantage of this opportunity and smacked Jordan so hard the guy fell on the ground!

"Everybody stop it!", Sarah yelled. All the fighting stopped. "It's getting late. We should probably go to sleep", she explained. Everyone else groaned. "Come on, guys. You can resume your brawl first thing in the morning", Sarah taunted. Hearing this, everyone rushed to their sleeping bag and had a nice rest. However, the next morning at 6:00 A.M., Sarah woke up to find Random Kid flying through the air and crashing into a tree that burst into flames! "I should probably change my wording next time", Sarah muttered to herself.

The Argument and What Occurred After

"Okay everyone. Quit the brawling and let's get down to business", Sarah said. "Aw... but I like brawling", Carl said. "Well, if you liked jumping off cliffs, would you?", Sarah asked. "Well, duh. Because I would actually like jumping off cliffs", Carl pointed out. "Shut up", Joel said and slapped Carl behind the head. "Don't slap my twin brother!", Danny argued. "Fine then, I'll slap you", Joel said and slapped Danny behind the head. "Stop slapping!", Ashley instructed. Random Kid slapped Ashley. "How you like that?", Random asked. "Stop the slapping!", Sarah yelled. Jordan went forth to slap Sarah, but Ashley grabbed his hand and crunched it! "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!", Jordan cried until Sarah let go.

"Now that we are up, we might as well get some breakfast", Sarah announced. "Ooh, I want some Egg McMuffins!", Danny said. "You fool, we can't just walk up to the restaurant and expect to get food with no money!", Mary exclaimed. "Either way, we have to eat something. I don't feel like starving to death, especially during Spring Vacation", Mark-Evans said. "So it is agreed, we must get some food", Sarah said. "Luckily, I know just the place...."

The group of 15 entered a supermarket. 14 of them were hidden under a long cloak, and only Joel's face was seen through the top. He took a shopping cart and browsed through the breakfast section. "So what should we get?", Joel asked. "Chocolate O's!", Tobey said. "No, you idiot! I say we buy a carton of eggs", Nora said. "I want BACON!", Jordan shouted. "Can't we just get all of those?", Random Kid asked. "Well we are stealing. But we don't want to make it look like we're stealing", Ashley said. "I don't like stealing", Katy Jr said. "Oh suck it up you big baby!", Sarah yelled.

Just then, the manager walked by. "Consumers complained that they heard someone talk about stealing. Have you heard anything?", he asked. "Yes, they --!", Katy Jr started. "Shut up, you're gonna blow our cover!", Sarah whispered. "Why are there sounds coming from your ominous cloak?", the manager asked. "Um... well...", Joel stammered. The manager punched the cloak and the other 14 allies came flying out! "You're all minors! And you're trying to shoplift! Security!", the manager yelled. "Time to go", Sarah said, and she grabbed a box of Honey Nut Cheerios and ran with the rest! Security jumped in front of the heroes and shot machine guns at them! The heroes ducked and slid under the officers! Afterward, they made a hasty retreat, accidentally leaving behind the cereal.

When they reached safe territory, Sarah said, "Well, you guys blew it! Now we have nothing to eat and we'll starve!" "Will you stop whining?! All you do is whine! Shut up!", Joel yelled. "Listen here Sitter, I can as easily kill you as easily as we made a run from that market!", Sarah said. Joel slapped Sarah. "You will listen to us!", Joel said. Sarah punched Joel. Joel blocked the hit and pushed Sarah back. "What is wrong with you?! You used to be cool!", Sarah cried. "I still am. But not in the way you knew me", Joel said, ominously. "Ugh!", Sarah growled and shed a tear. "We're out of here!", she cried. "Oh yeah? See if I give a dang!", Joel shouted. "Fine!", Sarah shouted. "Fine!", Joel shouted. And the two went their separate ways.

A few hours later, the four babysitters woke up, expecting to see the 12 children a few feet away. But they were gone. Disappeared. And in their place was a single note:

Dear babysitters,

I have kidnapped the children and you must track me down to reclaim them. If you don't come in time, their bodies will soon be nothing but charred corpses. And if you DO seek to reclaim them, you must give your life in return. Hahahahaha! The world wide web shall soon be mine!

Hately,

A. Louis

O_O !

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!", Joel screamed. "What is it?", Ashley asked, running to Joel's side. "A. Louis has returned!", Joel yelled. "Who's A. Louis?", Jordan asked. "Only the most vile, putrid teenager to ever surf the world wide web", Random Kid informed. "In other words, he's my beastly cousin. The guy had tried to bring my wiki and Random Kid's wiki to a bloody end, but got arrested. And since then, he's tried to get revenge on us!", Joel explained. "The last time we saw him, he had attempted to reveal my real name", Random said. "The guy sounds pretty dangerous. If he has the kids captured, who knows what he'll do to them?", Ashley panicked. "Yeah, and we won't get paid with the money to buy the KayStation 3!", Jordan lamented. Ashley elbowed Jordan in the stomach. "There are more important things at stake than a measly game system!", she exclaimed.

Meanwhile on the other side of the world, Sarah Williams was waking up... chained to a stone wall! "What the --?!", she yelled, "Where the heck am I?" A shadowy figure emerged from the darkness. It was none other than... A. Louis! "How ya doin', young pretty lady", he said. "Don't strike me with that tone, you freak! Tell me, now: Where am I?", she asked. "Man, you've been kidnapped yo! You stayin' here 'til my cuz and his homies come to save y'all. And when they do, I'm gonna slash them the chain insane, dawg!", A. Louis exclaimed. "What's with that stupid accent of yours? You sound like an idiot!", Sarah shouted. "Shut up yo! Before I shove a knife up yo ka-kiss!", A. Louis said and marched away.

The four babysitters were back at camp, pacing around. See, when one paces, it gives them time to think. As a matter of fact, they go into deep thought. And deep thought is exactly what these four went into. "The only thing that puzzles me is this handwriting. A. Louis has horrible grammar and spelling, yet this letter combines both perfectly", Joel said. "Yeah. And how'd A. Louis even know we were here anyway?", Random Kid asked. "There's something fishy about this", Ashley declared. "Yes, but we are J.J.A.R.K.! We must find out!", Jordan yelled. "Even if that means traveling across the world to defeat A. Louis, once and for all!"

The Journey that Awaits Them

Joel grabbed a backpack. Jordan took a flashlight. Ashley packed a bunch of chips. Random Kid held a nunchuck! The four friends were ready to go on an adventure that would change their lives. "Why are we doing this again?", Jordan asked. "To track down A. Louis and save the kids. After all, we know that they were our responsibilities", Joel said. "Yeah, just imagine the look on the parents' faces when they learned we let their 12 children get kidnapped by a crazed teenager", Random Kid said. "Good point", Ashley replied.

"But the only problem is.. we don't know where to start", Jordan said. "Yeah, that's true...", I muttered. "Well he leaves in Florida, right? So he can't be too far from there", Ashley pointed out. "Aw, this is too confusing", Random Kid said, "I'll go watch TV." As Random Kid turned on the television, the first channel shown was CNN. And on said channel they announced a report that made our four heroes stop in their tracks:

"On the outskirts of Florida, a mysterious message has been written in web between two buildings. The message reads, and I quote: 'CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, FOOLS! A. LOUIS.' The style of this message is reminiscent of Spider-Man 3, in which ---"

The rest was not heard as the room went into an uproar. "So he is in Florida, and he's taunting us!", Joel yelled. "I'm tellin' ya - that boy's trouble!", Jordan yelled. "Corned beef!", Ashley yelled. "CALM DOWN!", Random Kid shouted. The yelling stopped. "We know where the guy is. So let's just go there, get the kids back, and return here. Simple as that", Random Kid explained. "No slapstick violence or explosion?", Joel asked. "Nope. No slapstick violence or explosion", Random Kid said. "Ohh...", Joel groaned.

A. Louis was watching this all through a security camera. "Look at them fools. They gon' come ova here and try to rescue y'all! I ain't gon' let 'im get no where, chere!", A. Louis announced. "I can barely understand your gangster-esque accent. But never mind that, what do you have against them?", Sarah asked. "They blocked me!", A. Louis explained. Sarah gave him a weird look. "... from their wikis!", A. Louis said. "And... you try to kill them for that?", Sarah asked. Just as A. Louis was about to say something, Sarah went on talking sense into this guy. "If they blocked you, that means you did something bad. And you have the audacvity to try to get at them for something YOU did?", Sarah asked.

A. Louis slapped Sarah! "Shut up, dumb girl! You no tell me what ta do, even if yo right!", A. Louis exclaimed, "I will get them..." And that's how the story begins!

The Journey Continues

So as the four set out to begin their adventure, a giant robot came out of NOWHERE and blasted rays of energy at them! "What the --?!", Joel exclaimed and dodged the attack! Random Kid jumped in the air and kicked the robot! The robot grabbed Random, spun him artound, and launched him into the woods! "How dare you do that to our best friend!", Ashley yelled and lunged forth to punch the robot! The robot stomped on Ashley, killing her, and turned its arms into chainsaws!

"Aaaah!", Jordan yelled, and tried to escape! The robot picked Jordan and tried to chop off his head! Jordan ducked when the chainsaw passed over his head and tried to get out of the robot's clutches! Jordan escaped and jumped to the robot's face! Once in there, Jordan could see who was behind the controls: Random Girl! "Random Girl!", Jordan yelled in alarm. The robot blasted Jordan with laser-vision! Jordan hit the ground with a tremendous THUD! and dirt/rocks flew everywhere! The robot locked its eyes on Joel! He was the only one left alive!

The robot blasted missiles at Joel! Joel dodged, pulled out a shuriken, and hurled it at the robot! The shuriken crashed through the robot's windshield and got stuck in Random Girl's hair! As she tried to take it out, the robot started to tumble downward. CRASH! It fell to the ground with another THUD! Joel ran over to RG's side. He grabbed her arm. "Let go of me, heathen!", she commanded. "Random Girl, what's come over you?", I asked. "Silence! I will subdue you if you do not release me", RG threatened. Joel let go of her hand.

"Good choice, fool!", RG said. "Who are you?", Joel asked, dumbstruck. "I am...", RG started. Then she began twitching. "Joel!", RG said in her regular voice, "Help me! I'm being controlled by ---" RG stopped twitching. "... none of your business", RG finished in a robotic voice. "What did you do to Random Girl?!", Joel asked, angrily. "That is classified information. Now step aside', RG commanded. "Not until you tell me where Random Girl is!", I resisted. "I will have to kill you", RG threatened. "Try me", Joel muttered.

RG took machine blasters out of her pockets and shot rapidly at Joel! Joel ducked and rolled on the ground! He swung at RG! RG backed up and blasted him! Joel flew back and crashed into a tree! RG swung at him with a chainsaw! Joel dodged as the chainsaw cut through the tree! Joel punched at RG! RG fell to the ground! Joel went to body-slam her! RG transformed into a giant beast, right before Joel's eyes! The beast now blasted Joel with a combination of 6 rays that nearly burnt him to a crisp! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Joel was dead, defeated, never to be seen again. RG picked Joel up and walked with him to somewhere else. Meanwhile, A. Louis was watching this whole thing on a TV in his lair. "Ha ha! Yes! The team is defeated! In their faces! I knew mind-controlling Random Girl would work!", A. Louis cheered. "So... now that they're gone, your plan is pretty much over, right?", Sarah asked. "Well, Part A is. Now I'll go on Part B - taking over the world! Mwah ha ha ha!", A. Louis yelled. And thus, A. Louis took over the world and no one was ever able to stop him.

THE END!

A Pretty Sad Ending, Ain't It?

What? Not every story has a great, uplifting ending. Sometimes in life, there IS no happy finish, and good doesn't always triumph over evil. But this isn't an actual story, so we'll just get on with the happy ending, shall we?

Joel was being carried in the arms of Random Girl. Joel opened his eyes. "Eh? Where am I?", he thought. He then saw Random Girl out of the corner of his eye. Joel quickly jumped up and swung at RG! RG jumped back and rammed into Joel! Joel flew back and hit a tree! "Random Girl! What happened to you?! Aren't you and J. Severe friends?", Joel asked. RG blew a bunch of fire at Joel! Joel dodged and rolled on the ground! "J. must be a fool if he's a friend with you!", Joel shouted. RG lunged at Joel! Joel punched RG in the face! RG stepped back, and flinched. "There we go. Now calm down. I'm not an enemy", Joel reassured. RG turned both her arms into a chainsaw and swung ferociously at Joel with both! Joel ducked on the ground as both chainsaw collided into each other and blew up!

Joel rolled on the ground and pounced on Random Girl! Random Girl kicked him off and swung at him! Joel dodged the attack and punched RG across the jaw! RG twirled through the air and landed face first on the ground! Joel saw that she had a computer chip on her neck. Joel bent down and picked it off. Suddenly, Random Girl came to. "Huh? Who are you?", RG asked. "It's me", Joel said. "Oh yeah. You're J. Severe's creation. Well, I'm Random Girl", she said, sticking out her hand. "Nice to meet you, though I had seen you before numorous times", Joel replied, shaking Random Girl's hand. Over the horizon, Jordan came over the hill, holding an unconscious Ashley in his hand.

"Jordan, there you are! Is Ashley okay?", Joel asked. "Well, at least she's not dead. She is unconscious, though", Jordan explained. "Well, that's not good. I mean, it's preferable-er than being dead, but... n-never mind", Joel said. "Ashley! My best bud! Oh dear, I hope she's okay", Random Girl said. Over the hill behind them, Random Kid came limping and collapsed, rolling down the hill. "Random!", Jordan yelled. "How is this random? If a girl gets stomped on by a giant robot, how is that ---?", Joel asked. "No, Random Kid!", Jordan corrected, pointing at the fallen ally. "Random!", RG shouted and rushed to her best friend's side! "Random, are you okay?", RG asked. Random Kid opened his eyes to see Random Girl and exploded in a fit of rage! "Random Girl, you BEAST! You tried to kill us all!", Random Kid yelled, ferociously swinging at Random Girl!

Random Girl ducked and punched Random in the stomach! Random fell back and landed on the ground, writhing in pain. "You are... stronger than I last remember...", Random muttered. "Yes. Yes, I am. As a matter of fact, the last thing I remember is being captured in a giant net, hearing A. Louis's voice, then everything going black. I awoke in this forest, greeted by Joel over there", RG explained. "A. Louis?! So you mean he kidnapped ya?", Joel asked. "And mind-controlled you to try to kill us all?", Jordan asked. "Heh heh. Sorry about trying to snuff you there, Random Girl", Random Kid apologized. "Eh, no worry, Random. People have been trying to kill me ever since I met you and J.", Random Girl said. "So... A. Louis is trying to get to us by controlling our closest allies, eh?", Ashley asked, waking up from her deep slumber. "Ashley, you're okay!", Jordan cheered and hugged her. "Get the heck offa me, Jordan!", Ashley commanded. "Oh. Heh, sorry", Jordan smiled sheepishly. "Now that we're all here, let's all work together to get to A. Louis!", Joel suggested. "Why? Because he's a threat to the world?", Random Girl asked. "No, because he kidnapped 12 kids that I was supposed to babysit. But that's a good reason", Joel said. And thus, the new band of 5 friends forged on.

"What --?! No!", A. Louis yelled in anger. "How could they have thwarted my brilliant plan?!!!" "Simple, your plan wasn't brilliant, dummy", Sarah said. "Shut up, you idiot", A. Louis rubbed his chin, "I didn't want it to come to this, but they've forced my hand." A. Louis edged towards a door guarded by much dust and cobwebs. He wiped them all off. "When I did this, I hoped I would never have to use it. It seemed just too inhumane to even me, A. Louis, the Master of Torture", he announced. "Even to you?! What is this thing?!", Sarah asked, stricken with fear. "It's...", A. Louis let out a tear of regret, "... my secret weapon."

Alone in the Forest

After hours of walking and common conversation, the group found themselves at the bottom of a mountain. "Are we gonna have to climb that?", Jordan asked. "Yes, if we want to get the kids back", Joel said. "Kids, kids, kids. It's all about the kids! What about my needs?!", Ashley shouted. "Hey, hey! Calm it, Ashley. When this is all over, we'll be able to buy a nice, new KayStation 3", Random Kid explained. "How does a simple money scheme turn into an adventure to find 12 kids?", Random Girl asked. "You know what? To heck with all of you! I promised some guy I've never met before that I'd take care of his bratty children! And that's what I'll do!", Joel yelled and began to climb the mountain. "You know what, Joel? I agree with you", Random Kid said. "So do I!", Jordan agreed. Those two followed Joel. "Would you like to join us, girls?", Random Kid asked. "Well, these aren't really the shoes for climbing", Random Girl refused. "And I'd hate to dirty these new pants of mine", Ashley refused. "That's a no. Let's go, Random", Jordan said. The three boys continued to climb.

"So... what should we do?", Ashley asked. "Look for cute wood boys?", Random Girl suggested. "I'd like that!", Ashley agreed and the two gals ran off into who knows where. Meanwhile, Joel, Jordan, and Random Kid were climbing. "Better be careful not to cause an avalanche", Random Kid said. "Of what? Rocks? Like that would happen...", Jordan replied. Suddenly, Joel slipped on the mountain and began to fall! "Waaaaah!", he screamed at the top of his lungs! Jordan caught Joel's leg just as Joel was about to fall to his death! "Thanks", Joel muttered. Suddenly, the mountain began to rumble! "What the ---?", Random Kid asked. Suddenly, a thousand rocks began to fall from the top of the mountain, about to crash into the three! "Aaah!", they all screamed.

Joel, Jordan, and Random Kid all ran down the side of the mountain, trying to desperately escape the oncoming boulders! "Aah!", Joel ducked as a rock passed over his head! "Aah!", Joel jumped as a rock passed over him! "Oof!", Joel studdered as he was struck in the back by a giant rock! "Helllllp!", Joel screamed as he fell down to the ground and got crushed by the rock! "Jump for it!", Jordan yelled. Jordan and Random Kid jumped into the air and landed in a tree, hastily dodging the debris! "What about Joel?", Jordan asked. Random Kid spotted the injured Joel underneath a rock, as the many other rocks were about to fall on top of him! Random Kid jumped to the ground and struggled to push the rock off Joel! "Hurry up!", Jordan shouted with anticipation! The boulders were just meters away! Finally, Random got the rock off Joel and picked him up as the rocks were about to ram into them! It was all over! But... Jordan grabbed Random Kid by the collar and hoisted him, along with Joel who was in Random's arms!

Meanwhile, Ashley & Random Girl were randomly meandering. "I'm starting to think these woods are uninhabited", Random Girl muttered. "No. There must be someone somewhere", Ashley replied. Suddenly, a small monkey lowered itself from an above tree and pulled on Ashley's hair! "Like a monkey!", Random Girl shouted. "Aaaah!", Ashley screamed. Random Girl punched the monkey to the ground! While the creature was on the ground writhing in pain, Random Girl stomped on it until it was no more! "*huff puff* Take THAT, you stupid primate!", Random Girl shouted. Suddenly, nearby trees and bushes began to shake profusely! "What the --?!", Ashley started. Suddenly, a group of ravenous adult monkeys emerged, foaming from the mouth!! "I don't think you should have killed that little monkey", Ashley whispered. "Well, I know something I should do: RUUUUN!!!", Random Girl screamed. She and Ashley made a mad dash out of the area, with the monkeys in hot pursuit!

"Thanks for saving me, guys. You're true friends", Joel thanked. "What more would you expect?", Random Kid asked. "Do you hear something?", Jordan asked. The three listened for a few seconds. Suddenly, Ashley & Random Girl came BUSTING through the trees, yelling and screaming! "Run for your lives!", they both screamed. "From what?", Joel asked. Suddenly, the monkeys appeared, with murderous looks! "Whoa!", the three boys gasped, and fell out of the tree! They landed on the ground, only to become more targets for the carnivorous beasts! Joel, Jordan, and Random Kid ran as the monkeys chased them too! The five friends jumped over the debris at the bottom of the mountain, and became to quickly climb to safety! They reached the peak, only to find that the monkeys were still chasing them! "We must jump!", Joel ordered. "What?! Are you crazy?!", Ashley asked, angrily. "It's either get a little wet or get mauled by a bunch o' monkeys", Joel said. Upon hearing that, Ashley shouted "Cannonball!" and dived down in the chasms! The other four followed, barely escaping the monkeys' wrath!

Civilization!

The five heroes landed in a waterfall hundreds of miles below! "Ugh...!", Jordan muttered as he picked himself up out of the water, along with the rest of the gang. "My hair! First, it gets pulled by a baby monkey, then all wet and nasty after a fall off a mountain!", Ashley compained. "I used un-messable hair gel. Keeps my hair in its wonderful shape no matter what situation", Random Girl gloated. Joel went over to a couple of trees that were blocking them from the rest of the town. Joel peeked through them to see an astonishing sight: they had landed in the middle of a city!

"Whoa, would you look at that?", Joel said, astonished. "What? You finally figured out that you're an idiot?", Random Kid asked. "No... we've landed smack in the middle of a city!", Joel announced. "What? That's impossible", Jordan said, looking through the trees. He saw that they were surrounded by civilization. "Well... so it's true!", Jordan realized. The rest of the gang rushed to see the sight.

"Wow! Civilization!",Ashley gaped. "Maybe we could find an airport and hitch a ride to Florida to find A. Louis", Random Girl suggested. "That's brilliant! But the only problem is we don't know WHAT city we're in!", Random Kid yelled. "Isn't it obvious? Bright lights, random trash littering the streets, obscenely tall skyscrapers - we're in New York City!", Joel explained. "Wow! I've always wanted to come to the 'Big Apple'!", Ashley said with glee. "Break out the McDonalds' bags, we're seeing the Empire State Building!", Jordan shouted. "Erm... since when does New York City have a big forest in it?", Random Girl asked. "Well, have you ever heard of Central Park? Hmm, I wonder how my parents would react if I told them I was in NYC? I can just imagine it: 'Hiya, Mom & Dad! I just got back from an adventure in which I was nearly killed, oh, and I rolled down a mountain and landed in Central Park in New York' ", Random Kid wondered.

"Guys, you forgot that we're on a mission here! The fate of twelve random children is in jeopardy!", Joel reminded. "Ah, Joel, can't 'cha relax and unwind?", Ashley asked, putting her arm around Joel, "after all, we're in New York City - the city of big dreams. Besides it's getting kind of late. Can't we just stay here for the night?" "Sigh... (groans)... Fine! We'll stay here for the night. But first thing tomorrow morning we're hitch-hiking a plane ride to Miami", Joel announced. The rest of the gang cheered. "Yeah! But first - let's go to McDonald's! I'm pretty hungry!", Jordan said. "We have no money", Random Kid reminded him. "Erm... I have money!", Random Girl said, holding up a credit card. "Oh... well...", Random Kid muttered in disgust.

Night in New York

As it turned to dusk, the magnificence of New York City started to show. Brights lights covered every building, as the familiar sounds of cabs honking, men cursing, and loud music from Radio City Music Hall were heard. "Oh, isn't it so beautiful?", Ashley sighed, resting her head on Joel's shoulder. "Yeah, I guess it is quite grand. But get your head off me!", Joel growled. Ashley removed her head from Joel's shoulder. The gang continued walking a few blocks down until they got to a rather large McDonald's restaurant. They entered.

Inside, instead of there being a long line in front of the cashier, the place was organized like a five-star restaurant. "Wow. Such class!", Jordan admired. A random waiter walked up to the gang. "Aren't you a little young to be wandering New York City by yourselves?", the waiter asked. The gang got into a huddle and conversed for a minute. Then they faced the waiter again, and Joel answered, "Nah, we don't think so." There was a moment of silence, and then the waiter said, "Alright then. Seat yourselves at Table 6." As the gang went to take their seats, the waiter spoke into a little phone: "I've found them..."

After a few minutes, the waiter brought them a tray of fast-food. "Enjoy...", he said in a deep, crackling voice and walked away. "That was weird", Jordan said. He started intently at a lone cheeseburger in the middle of the tray, clearly standing out from the rest of the food. Joel was staring at that also. Jordan snatched the burger and went to eat it. "Gimme that!", Joel shouted and went to take it from Jordan. He accidentally the smacked the burger out of Jordan's hand! The burger flew through the air and crashed into the wall... and then exploded in a burst of flames!

"What the --?!", Jordan yelled. "There was a bomb in that burger!", Joel shrieked. The rest of the food on the tray started to smoke. The gang jumped away from the table as the food exploded! "Someone tried to kill us!", Random Girl yelled. They glanced at the waiter as he took out a sniper rifle out from behind the check-in desk! "A. Louis paid me to assassinate you... and I will not fail him!", the waiter shouted and shot rapidly! Joel ducked out of the way as the bullets pierced through the floor, causing a fire!

Joel jumped on a table and grabbed a knife! The waiter shot at him! Joel deflected the bullets by slashing at them with the knife! The bullets shot back at the waiter and hit him in the chest! The waiter jumped back in pain and crashed into a table, which flew back and crashed into the wall! The waiter lay on the ground covered by the debris, lifeless. "(gasp gasp) This can't get any worse...", Joel groaned. Suddenly, a group of ninjas crashed in through the windows! "Aaaahh!", Joel yelled as he made a mad dash with the ninjas in hot pursuit of him! The rest of the gang ran for the exit, except for Jordan who stayed behind to gather food from the tables and stuff them in an oversized bag.

Joel jumped out the window and rolled onto the sidewalk. The ninjas followed. One ninja emerged from the crowd, wielding a nunchuck! Joel approached him. The ninja swung at Joel with the nunchuck! Joel jumped over it, grabbed the nunchuck, and pulled it towards him! Since the ninja was holding the nunchuck, he was pulled towards Joel too! Joel punched the ninja to the ground and took his nunchuck! The rest of the ninjas ran at Joel! Joel ran at them, smacking various ninjas with the nunchuck and knocking them unconscious!

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang ran up to a sleek black car which shined in the night New York's bright lights. "This car is on... and no one's inside...", Random Girl noticed. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?", Ashley asked with a smirk. The gang got inside the car and, with Random Kid at the wheel, drove off in search of Joel. Joel had knocked out half of the ninjas, but now he was facing a big, tough, and menacing one. Joel slashed at the ninja with the nunchuck. The ninja grabbed the nunchuck and broke it in half. Joel backed up in fear. The ninja grabbed Joel by the neck and raised his face to punch him!

The car in which Our Heroes were in drove up. Joel slapped the ninja, causing him to drop Joel and writhe in pain. Joel jumped into the opened window of the car and they drove off. "Whew. That was a close one!", Joel breathed. "Yeah... hey, you want a burger?", Jordan asked, offering something from his large plethora of bagged foods. Suddenly, a THUMP! was heard from behind the car. "What is that?", Random Kid asked. He looked into rearview mirror only to see that the ninjas were behind them in cars of their own! "They've caught up to us! Go faster!", Random Girl shouted. Random Kid made a swift u-turn around the corner and drove as fast as he could as the ninjas followed them, their only path of light was the illumination of the tall skyscrapers! All in all, it looked like a scene from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

The car made a hasty swerve, and nearly fell over! "Waaah!", Our Heroes shouted. "You're gonna KILL us, Random!", Random Girl yelled. "Well, sorry! I don't have a driver's license!", Random Kid retorted. BAM! The ninjas bashed their car into the rear end of Our Heroes' car! "Whoa!" The car started spinning uncontrollably! "Whaaaa!", the kids yelled. The car skid on the sideway, nearly hitting numerous people! "Aaaah!", the people on the sideway screamed. "Grrr...", Jordan growled. The car started driving backwards! The ninjas' car bashed into the front of Our Heroes' car! "Ugh!", Joel grunted, hitting the windshield!

"Someone's got to stop them!", Ashley said, climbing out the window. "What are you doing?!", Joel asked, rubbing his cheek. "When I give the word, spin the car around, 'kay Random?", Ashley suggested. "Alright...", Random groaned. Ashley jumped on the roof of the car. "1...2...3!", she yelled. Ashley jumped off the car as it spun around and faced forward! She landed on the windshield of the ninjas' car! "Aaagh!", the driver ninja shouted, pressing some buttons. The wipers swiped back and forth quickly! Ashley held on the wipers as she nearly fell off the car! "Whoa!", the girl yelled as her hands slipped from the wiper!

Ashley fell through the air! She grabbed onto the handle of the car door! However, her weight and the pressure of how fast the car was going caused the door to break off! "Naaaah!", Ashley screeched as she slid on the car door like a surfboard! She grabbed onto the bumper of the car and hung on for dear life! "End her...", the driver ninja commanded. Another ninja jumped onto the roof through the window. Ashley grabbed the car door and pulled herself up to the car roof. The ninja swung at her! Ashley ducked and bashed the ninja over the head with the car door! The ninja's corpse fell off the car and rolled onto the street!

The driver ninja looked as one of his comrads fell from the roof... dead! "All of you, finish her!", he yelled. Yet another ninja climbed onto the roof, only to be bashed over the head by Ashley again! More ninjas piled onto the roof and were brutally taken out by Ashley! The driver ninja watched as half a dozen corpses rained down from the roof! "Grr...", the driver ninja growled, filled to the brim with anger. He put the car on autopilot and jumped onto the roof! The ninja pulled out a dagger and slashed at Ashley! The blade was so sharp it cut the car door in half! "Aaagh!", Ashley screamed. The ninja raised the dagger to kill Ashley once and for all! At the last moment, Ashley jumped off the car as the dagger pierced into the car!

The ninja tried to pull his dagger out, but it was stuck! Disgusted, he turned around, only to see the car headed for a body of water! "Nooooo!", he yelled as the car ripped through a gate and catapulted into a large river! The car sunk and it and the ninja were never seen again...

Ashley fell through the air towards Our Heroes' car! "Help me!", she yelled. Random Kid reached out and grabbed Ashley's arm. He pulled her into the car and she landed in the backseat, next to Joel! "Gasp! Gasp! Oh... oh, my gosh! Oh man! Ugh...", Ashley panted. "That was quite brave of you, Ash' ", Joel complimented. "Ya think so?", Ashley asked. "Yeah. I sure as heck wouldn't have the guts to jump out of the safety of the car and face Death itself", Joel admitted. "Oh, thanks!", Ashley said, hugging Joel. "Er, you're welcome...", Joel replied, at a loss for words.

"Alright, stop acting all lovey-dovey! We still all of New York City to see!", Jordan said. "Yeah. So where to next, Random?", Random Girl asked. "I don't know. How about we check out the -- OIL LEAK!!!", Random shouted. "Oil leak, eh? Never heard of that one? How's the food there?", Random Girl asked. "No, you idiot! There's an actual oil leak!", Joel shouted, pointing at a big overturned oil truck with gallons of oil leaking out. "Whhhppppa!", the kids shouted as the car spun rapidly on the oil! The car spun out of control and crashed into a building! They drove towards a random man at a booth! "Wait! No! No! Aaaah!", the man shouted as he was run over!

The impact of the car and the man caused the car to apruptly stop! Our Heroes catapulted through the windshield, breaking through the glass, and flew through the air! They crashed into some theater room, and rolled down a lighted alley. "Ugh...", Jordan groaned, wiping blood from his lip. "Where are we?", Random Girl asked. "I... OOH! ... don't know", Random Kid said, cracking his back. "Looks like we're in some sort of theater", Joel observed. Just then, a group of people walked onto a stage and started singing. "We'll stumbled into Broadway!", Ashley said, joyously.

"Broadway? So that must of been the ticket guy we drove over back there", Joel said. "Yep. And now we get to see a wonderful show for free!", Ashley cheered, getting up to get a seat. The rest of the gang joined here. "Oh, thou wast tried for crimes of treason against thou's ownst country", some guy on stage said. "No... no, please! Thou don'st understand! Ye tricked me into doing it! I wouldn't have donest it if I had known this was to happen!", another performer pleaded, on his knees. "Shuteth your fattest mouth, sir boahy! The penalty for treason... is death!", the first performer threatened. "No! No-ho-ho...", the second performer begged.

The first performer was handed a double-barreled shotgun was behind the stage. "What the --? Is that a shotgun?", Joel asked. "It's only a prop. It won't hurt anybody", Ashley explained. "And now, Edward, I shall undo you!", the first performer shouted triumphantly, pulling the trigger. To everyone's surprise, a bullet actually came out and struck the second performer in the arm! "Aaagh! Ow, you idiot!", the second performer shouted. "What in the world?! This is supposed to be a prop!", the first performer shouted, surprised. "I'll give you a prop!", the second performer growled, smacking the first performer across the face! The first performer, now truly angry, shot at the second performer! The second performer ducked, knocked the gun out of the first performer's hand, and tackled him to the ground!

The gun landed in the crowd, right in some guy's hands! He shot the gun rapidly! Complete pandamonium broke out in the theater! Everyone starting fighting each other, and curses and punches abounded! "Let's get out of here...", Jordan muttered. "Why? It's not too crazy yet", Random Kid said. Suddenly, an unknown body came out of nowhere and landed at Random's feet! The man pulled Random closer to him and said, "Tell my wife... I love her..." Then the man let go of Random and dropped down, dead. "Well... okay, NOW it's too crazy!", Random replied.

The gang ran out of the Broadway theater as fast as they could! "Wait, we forgot the ca-- ", Random Girl started. Just then, the theater exploded in a burst of flames! "N-never mind...", she muttered. As the gang waked down the street with a group of other New Yorkers, Jordan asked, "Where are we gonna sleep for the night?" "Hmm... I have an idea", Joel said, with a smirk.

The Plaza Hotel

The gang began walking towards a heavily-populated area. "Where are you taking us, Joel?", Random asked. "Friends, I give you... the Plaza Hotel!", Joel announcement. The rest looked up to see a giant fountain, complete with statue with water flowing out of its mouth. Behind it was a heavily lighted almost Casino-like hotel, shining off into the New York City night. "Ooh...", they sighed. "Come, friends. We've got a place to stay."

The gang entered the building. The inside was just so grand, it'd be useless to try to describe it, so let's just say it had class all the way. "It's... *sheds tear*... so beautiful...", Random Girl cried. The gang went over to the check-in desk. "Hello there, my good... Hello there, Mister... Hey, sir, I... YO!", Joel shouted. "Huh?! Er, wha --", the manager stammered, turning around to face the ground. "Oh, hello there. How may I help you?", the manager offered. "We need a place to stay for the night. Think your place's good enough?", Joel explained. "The Plaza Hotel is only the best hotel you'll ever go to in your LIFE! And aren't you a little young to stay in a hotel by yourself?", the manager asked. "Am I, Manager-type-guy? Am I?", Joel inquired.

Silence. "Huh. Er, I guess not. Anyway, an overnight stay ain't free! You got money?", the manager asked, rudely. Random Girl handed the manager a credit card. "We want a room for all 5 of us, for the night, with unlimited customer service", Random Girl demanded. "Oh, see, we can only fit two people in a room. So since there's five of us, four of you will have to share a room, and one person gets a room to themselves", the manager explained. "I call a room to myself!", Jordan blurted out. "Then I guess I'm going with Joel", Ashley said. "Huh. Looks like I'm stuck with you, Random Girl", Random Kid groaned. "Hey, you should be proud you get to share a room with ME!", she replied.

The manager clapped his hands. "Unnamed bell hop, take these folks' bags to rooms 135, 136, and 138 respectively!" A bell hop came and took the 5 heroes bags and went up the stairs. The gang followed him. The unnamed bell hop showed them their rooms. "Two folks will be staying in room 135", the bell hop said. Joel and Ashley rushed in and jumped on their beds. "Two other folks will be staying in room 136", the bell hop replied. Random Girl tripped Random Kid to the ground and went forth for the biggest bed. "Ugh...", Random Kid groaned. "And the last person gets room 138 to themselves. Guess that's you, eh Afro Boy?", the bell hop asked. "Mm-hm!", Jordan replied, running around his room like a kid in a candy store.

The bell hop returned to the lobby to continue his work. The five heroes sighed. It was going to be a long night.

The Long Night at the Hotel

"So... what do we do now?", Ashley asked. "I dunno. How about we order room service", Joel suggested. Minutes later... Joel and Ashley have received room service; they are eating Gino's pizza as they watch Scary Movie on a flat-screen TV. "Munch, much. Hm. This isn't as fun as I thought it would be", Ashley muttered. "What are you talking about? This movie's hilarious!", Joel chuckled. "I wasn't referring to the movie, I was talking about this situation in general. We've eaten pizza and watched a spoof horror movie, what now?", Ashley asked. "I dunno. Wanna play some 'Go Fish'?", Joel suggested.

Moments later... "Got any threes?", Ashley asked. "Go fish!", Joel said, triumphantly. "Great, you win. Now what?", Ashley inquired. "... I don't know. I guess once you've eaten pizza, watched a spoof horror movie, and played a game of cards in a five-star-hotel, you've done it all", Joel replied. "We need some adventure! I say we take a tour of the hotel!", Ashley suggested. "Yawn! Well, while you do that, I think I'll get some shut-eye. Escaping a murderous guy with a sniper rifle at McDonalds, driving downtown New York City with ninjas in hot pursuit of you, and eating pizza/watching a spoof horror movie/playing cards with your best friend in a famous hotel really wears you out", Joel muttered.

"Fine. Have a good nap", Ashley replied. "Gladly. I've got to get up early for the plane to Florida tomorrow, y'know", Joel said, climbing into bed and closing his eyes. Ashley jumped up on a random shelf and picking at a metal bar covering an entrance to the vents. "Hmm. Maybe if I can -- Waaaah!", Ashley screamed as she and the bookshelf tumbled to the groud, causing a loud ruckus! "What the --?! Ashley, what in heaven's name are you doing?", Joel asked, annoyed. "Trying to get into the -- Hey! I have an idea. Joel, can you stand over here?", Ashley asked. "Fine", Joel replied, standing in the middle of the debris. Ashley climbed on Joel's shoulders, then on his head, and pulled off the metal bars, then climbed into the vents! "Hey! Wait for me!", Joel shouted, jumping into the vents after her.

Meanwhile, Random Kid and Girl were arguing in their room. "We should order lobster!", Random Kid shouted. "No! I'm paying, and I should say we're ordering cheeseburgers!", Random Girl retorted. "Cheeseburgers stink! Lobster FTW!", Random Kid replied. "I don't care how much win is in lobsters, I'm not going broke, so I say cheeseburgers!", Random Girl growled. "Lobster!" "Cheeseburgers!" "Lobster!" "Cheeseburgers!" "Lobster!" "Cheeseburgers!" "Lob-reakin-ster!" "Cheese-duckin-burgers!" Random Girl picked up the phone and called the front desk. "Front-desk-type-phone-received-guy, Random Kid says we should get 'lobster', but I'm on a budget and I want to get cheaper cheeseburgers! Tell him he's a buttcheek!"

"I'm no buttcheek! Lobster is WAY better than cheeseburgers! Only fat people eat cheeseburgers!", Random Kid growled. "You sayin' I'm fat?!", Random Girl yelled. "Maybe I am! Maybe I'm sayin' you're the original Fat Momma!", Random Kid insulted. Random Girl swung ferociously at Random Kid! Random Kid ducked and kicked at Random Girl! Random Girl jumped over the kick and lunged at Random Kid! She tackled him to the ground and started strangling him! Random Kid started strangling HER! "Why, you little --!" "Why, you big --!" "Guys, stop! May I suggest you get lobster and cheeseburgers?", the guy on the other line suggested. "... Hey, that's actually a good idea!", Random Girl realized.

A few minutes later... "Ahhh...", Random Kid and Girl sighed, eating their tasty morsels. "This is delicious. However, we can't just eat like this without anything to watch on the TV", Random Kid noted. "Yeah. Let's call room service to send us up a DVD. Let's watch Twilight!", Random Girl suggested. "Twilight? No, no. You're crazy, Random Girl. Let's watch Transformers 2!", Random Kid corrected. "Ew. Not that piece of trash. Twilight", Random Girl refused. "No Twilight... Transformers 2!", Random Kid retorted. "Twilight!" "Transformers 2!" "Twilight!" "Transformers 2!" "Twilight!" "Transformers 2!" "Twilight!" "Transformers 2!" "TWILIGHT!" "TRANSFORMERS 2!" Random Girl tackled Random Kid to the ground, and they started brawling again.

Jordan, on the other hand, was enjoying his "own room-ness." "Aaahhhh... Peace and quiet", Jordan sighed. Silence. "This sure as heck is boring! I'm-a call up room service!", Jordan shouted. He grabbed the phone. "Ello? Yeah, I need 12 extra-cheesy extra-pepperoni pizzas, send up a 50 HDTV, with a Blu-ray player and a catalog of extremely graphic and gory movies!" Minutes later... Jordan was in his bed, eating his 7th pizza, and watching a monster on his large TV eat the guts of a dead person. "Hmm. Eugene deserved it. He was such a nerd", Jordan muttered, stuffing a slice in his mouth.

A few minutes later...

"Bah! That's enough pizza for me. I feel like I'm going to barf", Jordan groaned, "And this movie's gotten so boring. That's like the millionth person the monster has decapitated. I'm in a big hotel with unlimited room service. I should be having a party!" Suddenly, an idea popped in his mind. "Yesssss. A party..."

Even more few minutes later...

Rap music blasted from speakers, random people broke down on the dance floor, and Jordan was the DJ, scratching some discs. Yes, you guessed it, he was throwing a party. "Uh-huh! Oh yeah! Another smooth hit coming from DJ Jordan!", he shouted. Everyone cheered. Jordan started playing yet another rap song was obscene amounts of cursing in it. "Whew. My hands are getting tired. H-hey you. Hey, random guy!", he called. The random guy walked up to Jordan. "Hey, could you dejay will I go take a break? Thanks", Jordan said, leaving.

He plopped down on a stool at the bar. "Hey there, Jordan. This is a wicked cool party you're throwing here", the bartender said, cleaning the glass. "Yeah, it's pretty ill. Hit me with a root beer, will ya?", Jordan asked. He received a glass of root beer and took a sip from it. "You know what, bartender? Having a room all to myself isn't what it's all cracked up to be. What I think I really miss are my friends by my side", Jordan groaned. "Really? Well, maybe you should go camp out at one of your friend's rooms then", the bartender suggested. "Huh... hey, that's a great idea. Hey, bartender, hit me with another beer for the road, eh?" Jordan got another glass of root beer and gulped it down.

Meanwhile, a group of teens were dancing. "This party is off the shizzle-for-hizzle, dawg!", one said. "Yeah. You know what would be epic? If there was a massive shoot-out right now", another said. Just then, Jordan pulled out a machine gun and began shooting rapidly at people! "Aaaaah!", they yelled. "Git out! Git, git out of here! Party's over!", he shouted. Everyone dashed out of the room! "Whew. Now that that's over", Jordan muttered. He went over to grab his inflatable bed, when he saw someone else, drunk, laying on it. "That... was... *burp*... hot." " :p ", went Jordan.

Meanwhile, Random Kid and Random Girl were still brawling it out. "I'm gonna KILL --!" Suddenly, Jordan burst into the room with his bags! "Ay dere, friends!", he greeted. "Jordan?! What are you doing here?", Random Kid and Girl asked, surprised. "Well, it's pretty lonely, so I decided I'd stay with you guys", Jordan said, putting his bed down and laying on it, "We're gonna have a fun night, ain't we guys?" "Sure...", Random Kid and Girl muttered, annoyed.

Meanwhile again, Joel and Ashley were crawling in the vents. "Where are we going, again?", Joel asked. "In search of adventure!", Ashley replied. "I meant literally!", Joel retorted. "Shh!", Ashley shushed. The two heard murmuring sounds off in the distance. The two took a turn and went a different direction. They came to an opening, and they could peer down into someone's room. This is where they had heard the murmering from.

"Ah, ain't this grand, Stephanie?", a guy said. "Oh, absolutely perfect, Jon", a girl replied. The two were sitting on a couch, seemingly alone in a dark room. "I see. Well... I'm pretty bored. How 'bout you?", the guy named Jon asked. "Yeah, very. We should do something fun", the girl named Stephanie suggested. "Mm-hmm. Well, seeing as we're teens and teens are very foolish in nature, we should do something foolish", Jon realized. "Yeah. So what foolish teen-like endeavor shall we engage in?", Steph asked. "I don't know", Jon answered. The two looked at each other. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the two started making out!

Joel and Ashley watched in disgust. "O_O", went Joel. " D:) ", went Ashley. The two teens dropped to the floor, grunts and groans of relief abounding! "That... is quite disturbing", Joel muttered. "Yeah. We'd better get out of here", Ashley advised. The two began to crawl away, however, the sound of them in the metal vents didn't go unnoticed. "Huh? What was that?", Jon muttered. He got off Stephanie and listened closely. CLUMP, CLUMP, went Joel and Ashley, trying to crawl in the vents. "Someone was spyin' on us...", Jon observed.

Jon reached into his bag and pulled out a shotgun. "What are you --?", Steph started. "Sshh!", Jon instructed. He pointed the shotgun at the vents. "3... 2... 1." *GUNSHOT!* "Waaah!", Ashley yelled, seeing the bullet fly, "Someone's shooting at us!" *GUNSHOT! GUNSHOT! GUNSHOT!* "Ruuun! Er... crawwwl!", Joel yelled, trying to get away, quickly. *GUNSHOT!* A bullet hit Joel! "No!", he gasped as the vent underneath started to crack and he was sent falling down into the room!

THUD! Joel lay on the floor, bleeding, as Jon and Steph confronted him. "Thought you could spy on us, eh boy?", Steph asked. "Looks like we're gonna have to take proper measures...", Jon said in a deep, crackling voice, pointing the shotgun at Joel. Ashley looked down and saw Joel about to be ended! Quickly, she tied one end of her hair to a tiny pipe that was within the ventilated area. She then jumped down through the hole into the room! She grabbed Joel, and was catapulted back up into the vent, like a bungee jumper, thanks to her bouncy hair.

Ashley untied her hair from the pipe, grabbed Joel, and hastily crawled across the vents! "HEY!", Jon yelled, shooting across the ceiling, "Get back here!" "It's no use, Jon. They're gone. Let's resume what we were doing, shall we?", Steph suggested. "No! I can't make out with you knowing that someone was spying on us... and they're still alive. I have to END them. If you truly are my girlfriend, you'd side with me", Jon said, grimly. "Ugh. Fine", Steph muttered. "Excellent...", Jon chuckled.

Meanwhile, a few rooms down the hall, Ashley dropped from the vents into an empty room. Joel followed. "You okay?", Ashley asked. "Yeah. Just got a minor bullet hole. Ugh... ain't nuttin' new...", Joel reassured. "Okay. Come on, let's go", Ashley said. She and Joel went into the hallway. However, at that same moment, Joe and Steph were turning the corner and they spotted the two! "Hey!", Jon shouted, and started showing at them! Joel and Ashley ducked and then dashed down the stairs! "Get back here, Peeping Tom and Peeping Jane!", Jon growled, he and Steph giving chase to them!

Joel and Ashley dashed across the hall, which was heavily population. "Huh? Oof! Dah! Ow! Eeh!", numerous people studdered as the two bumped into them, "Ay, where ya goin'?!" Just then, Jon and Steph arrived on the floor and started shooting rapidly at people, causing mass hysteria! "Hey, what are you doing?!", a bellhop yelled, stepping in front of the two murderous teens. "Get out of the way, y'old fool!", Jon shouted, smacking the bellhop to the ground, "I've got blood to shed!"

Joel and Ashley turned to take the stairs down to the lobby! However, at the last second, the teens caught up to them! Jon lunged at Joel! Joel hastily dodged the attack and rode the stair railing down! "Ha!", Joel laughed, looking up, "Huh? NO!" Stephanie has gotten Ashley, and Jon was holding the gun to her head! "We're going to kill her, you know!", Jon chuckled, evilly. "Let her go!", Joel yelled. "Joel! Ugh... save yourself!", Ashley pleaded. "Shut up, girlie! Come on, let's take her back to the room!", Jon ordered, he and Steph pulling Ashley away. "Ashley! No!", Joel screamed, dashing back up the stairs after her!

Meanwhile, Random Kid and Girl were trying to sleep, but Jordan's talking kept them awake. "Ay, guys. You know, I didn't always have this big, pointy afro. I used to have regular hair, like Joel did. But I thought, nah, it's so plain. I need to separate myself from the crowd. So one day, I went to the local town hair parlor. I went up to the barber and I was like, 'Dude. I'm-a give you the job of the century. I need you to give me a haircut. A haircut that makes my hair looks completely different and unique from everyone elses.' And that's what the guy did. He took my hair and morphed it into something huge and pointeh. It was an afro. A spear-shaped afro. And it was awesome!", Jordan ranted.

"Jordan, as much as me and Random Kid would look to hear stories about your... hair... and whatnot, we need to get some sleep", Random Girl complained. "Sleep? Why would you need sleep? Considering everything we've been through today, you shouldn't be able to sleep at ALL. I mean, for all you know, a ninja with a machete could come out from that closet right over there and chop you in your sleep", Jordan explained. "Jordan, it's very unlikely that a ninja with a machete could be in that closet", Random Kid grunted. "You don't know that! Look, I'm-a go check that out right now", Jordan said, opening in the closet. "Whoa! What the --?! Aaah! Son of a -- Whaaaa! Ah no! Tsuyaaaah!" Jordan was dragged into the closet!

"Jordan!", Random Kid and Girl panicked, rushing over. Jordan emerged from the darkness... laughing. "Ah ha ha! Oh! Oh, man! That's hilarious! You guys are so gullible!", he chuckled. "Okay. That's it. Get out. Get the HECK out!", Random Kid yelled. "Ha ha! Huh? Oh come on guys, it was just a joke", Jordan said. "GET OUT!", Random Kid and Girl yelled. Jordan walked out of the room. The two shut it firmly once he exited. "Sigh...", Jordan groaned.

Just then, the two teens ran down the hall with Ashley! "Jordan! Heeeelllp!", she screamed. "Ashley?! W-wait? What's going on?!", Jordan stammered. Now, Joel raced by! "Ashley! I'm coming!", Joel yelled. "Ashley? Joel? What's going on here?!", Jordan shouted. In order to get those answers, he chased the gang. Jon and Stephanie dashed into their room, along with Ashley, and shut the door, then locked it! Joel and Jordan caught up, and tried to open the door, but couldn't! "Ashley! Ashley! Open the door, you hags!", Joel screamed.

"Yeah! Open the door, you random teens!", Jordan agreed. "Jordan? What are you doing?", Joel asked. "I'd like to ask you the same question! You come runnin' with a buncha random people who are draggin' Ashley like some heist is goin' on! The heck is this?!", Jordan shouted. "Sigh... me and Ashley were spying on those two, so they ran after us and took Ashley, and here I am, trying to get her back...", Joel explained. "That's all I needed to know. See ya!", Jordan farewelled, walking away. "What? You know what's going on and you just leave me here?!", Joel yelled, "What's wrong with you?"

"Heeelllp!", Ashley continued. "Ashley!", Joel remembered, banging on the door. "Ugh!" He looked up and saw an opening to the vents. "Hmm... I'll end this the same way I began this." Meanwhile, Ashley was the ground as Jon pointed the shotgun. "Heh heh. Heh heh", Jon chuckled, crazily. "Erm... Jon, are you okay?", Steph asked. "Mwah ha ha! Mwah ha ha!", he started laughing uncontrollably, like he was in an asylum! "Jon, calm down!", Steph ordered. Jon punched Steph so hard she flew back and hit the wall! "Mwah ha ha! Mwah ha ha ha!", Jon cackled, going crazy! He shot at Steph with the shotgun! Steph ducked as the ground as the bullet passed over her!

"Mwah ha ha ha! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha! Ah ha ha ha!", Jon cackled, his eyes crossed! Just then, Joel dropped into the room through the vents! Jon glanced at him. "You! Ha ha! Die! Mwah ha ha!", Jon cackled, shooting at him! Joel rolled on the ground, dodging the shots, and grabbed Ashley in his arms. Joel jumped up and kicked Jon in the face, and he fell to the floor! Joel was about to jump back into the vents when more bullets hit the ceiling! He turned around and saw Jon shooting some more! Steph emerged from her hiding spot and struggled to pull the shotgun away from her boyfriend! "Stop! Joe! You have to calm DOWN!"

Jon pushed her away and shot! Steph was hit and flew back, crashing through the window and falling down! "No!", Joel screamed! Just then, the door BUSTED down, and the bellhop, Jordan, and Random Kid & Girl arrived on the scene! "Drop the gun!", the bellhop ordered. Jon shot the bellhop down! Jordan and Random Kid & Girl tackled Jon to the ground and kept him pinned to the floor! "Quick, take care of Ashley! I've got to rescue that girl!", Joel instructed, leaving Jordan and the Randoms with Ashley, then jumping out the window! "Joel!", they all yelled in alarm.

Joel fell the dozens of feet through the air, racing to catch Steph! "Aaaah!", she screamed. Joel, hastily dashing along the side of the building, caught up to her, and grabbed her! "Hold on!", Joel yelled, holding her in his arms, and jumped off the side of the building! They began to fall through the air! "What now, Junior?", Steph asked. "Cut the wisecracks, unnamed teenage girl! I'm thinking!", Joel retorted. Meanwhile, Jon knocked away everyone pinning him to the floor! He grabbed the gun and jumped out the window! Jordan, Ashley, and the Randoms looked out the window as he ran after Joel!

As Joel and Steph were descending, bullets fell from above! They looked up and saw Jon! "What's with your boyfriend anyway? The guy needs some chill pills!", Joel muttered. "Just throw me up to him. I'll talk to him", Steph instructed. "Alright. You're the gal", Joel muttered, throwing her up. Steph flew up and was level with Jon. "Please! Jon! You need to stop this!", Steph cried. "Mweh heh heh! Mwah ha ha! Ah HA HA!", Jon cackled. Steph kissed him. For a moment, Jon stopped. "There. You okay now?", Steph asked. "Uh... uh, St-Steph? T-that you? I don't know what came over me", Jon realized. "Good. As long as you don't do it again", Steph replied.

"Hey, Steph. We're falling down to our death, aren't we?", Jon asked. "Yeppers", Steph replied. "Well, if I'm going to die with anyone, I'm glad I'm dying with you", Jon said. "Aw. I return that statement", Steph agreed. Just then, the two landed on top of a truck, and the impact of them falling so hard caused the truck to explode in a burst of flames! The explosion trigged other cars to explode, and others... and others... and OTHERS! Eventually, the streets were up in flames, and the flames caught onto buildings, all the buildings started to burn down! Soon, the whole district was on fire!

Where was Joel in all this, you ask? Well, he had caught onto a flag pole that was hanging off the side of a building, and he was able to hang there, safely. However, the hotel began to catch fire, and the flames started to ascend each floor! Joel quickly jumped into the window, into some lady's room! "Aaah!", she screeched. "Sorry, random lady! I'll come to your funeral!", Joel shouted back, dashing into the hallway. "Funeral? What could he --?", the lady started. Suddenly, the flames entered the room and engulfed everything!

Meanwhile, Joel was racing up the stairs as the flames followed him! "Aaaah!", he screamed. Joel quickly grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall and began to spray apruptly! This seemed to stall the fire for a bit. Once he was out of ammo, Joel dropped the extinguisher and continued to run down the hall and up the stairs! He dashed into the room with his friends in it! "Guys! Get your stuff! We've got to get out of here!", Joel instructed. "Why?", the rest inquired. "There's a fire coming up!", Joel explained. Everyone glanced into the hallway and saw the flames coming! "Waah!", they screamed.

The group went to their rooms, grabbed the stuff, and came back to the room! "What do we do now?!", Ashley asked. "There's... a hang glider... in that bag...", the bellhop muttered, pointing to Jon's bag. "How do you know that?", Joel asked. "I am... in charge... of checking bag... to make sure there's no harmful stuff in there...", the bellhop muttered. "The guy had a shotgun in there! How'd THAT get through?!", Ashley asked, angrily. "I was drunk...", the bellhop grunted. Jordan reached into the bag and pulled out a hang glider. "Got it! I just have to set it up!", Jordan said. The fire started getting closer! "Hurry up!", Random Girl shouted. "I'm going as fast as I can!", he replied.

The fire neared the room! "Fix the dang thing already!", Random Kid screamed. "I can't! It won't budge!", Jordan informed. Random Kid grabbed the hang glider from Jordan and opened it in one move! "Oh", Jordan muttered, amazed. "Grab on!", Random Kid instructed. Everyone held on, except Joel. "Hey, bellhop-guy. Come, get on", Joel offered. "No... I'll just stay here... and die with the hotel...", he groaned. "What? No! You're old, but you've still got life to live!", Joel refused. "I love my job. It'd be an honor to pass away here", the bellhop replied. "You really like your job that much?", Joel asked. "No, I hate it! Heck, I got drunk so I could wipe away my troubles in this blasted place! I'm just too lazy to get up! Go along yourself, boahy!", the bellhop yelled. "Fine. Suit yourself", Joel replied.

Just then, the fire got into the room and began to burn! "Get on!", Ashley screamed. "Okay!", Joel replied, grabbing on. The gang jumped out of the room as the flames engulfed it and the hotel began to crumble! "Waaah!", they all yelled as the wind swept them away! Joel looked back as the Plaza Hotel crumbled to pieces and fell into the neverending flames below! "I'm not cleaning that up...", Joel muttered to himself, "Whoa!" The gang continued to drift across the smoke-filled skies. Literally, as much as New York City as they could see was red with fire! "We've got to land somewhere that's not going to burn us", Jordan said. "What about the Statue of Liberty?", Random Girl suggested. The gang looked off in the distance and saw Lady Liberty, completely fire-free. "That's a good idea", Random Kid replied.

Minutes later, the gang entered perimeters of the Statue of Liberty and manuvered the hang glider to land. They jumped off. "Ah, land sweet non-fire-filled land", Random Girl said, rubbing herself on the ground. "This place is okay. But where are we going to stay?", Joel asked. "Ah bup bup! Jordan always comes prepared!", Jordan said, opening his storage case. Numerous beds and tables full of delicious food came out! "How'd you fit all that in your bag?", Random Kid asked. "Space bags. You know, the ones they advertise on TV? Works like a charm. Anyway, bon appetite!", Jordan said.

And they feasted. Then they went to sleep. They needed their rest, for tomorrow would be one of the most critical days of their life. O_O

Racing to the Airport

"Gasp!", Joel panted. He turned around and saw the figure emerging from the darkness. This figure... was A. Louis! "You! Who are you?", Joel asked. "Me? I'm, heh heh... A. Louis", he chuckled deviously. "YOU'RE the fabled A. Louis! Grr! Where did you put the kids?!", Joel asked, angrily. "Oh, don't worry, Joel. You'll see them soon enough", A. Louis said. "I don't want to see them 'soon enough.' I want to see them now!", Joel screamed, charging forth at him! A. Louis ducked to the side, dodging the lunge, and chopped Joel in the neck! "Waaagh!", Joel screamed, falling to the ground in pain. A. Louis stood over him, triumphantly. "Guess what, Joel? I killed them. All 12 of them. Dead. And because you said you wanted to see them now, I'll have to pull a few strings to get you your wish", he said, grimly, pulling out a knife. "No! No, please! No! I want to live!", Joel screeched. A. Louis lowered the knife! "Noooooooo!"

"Waaah!", Joel screamed, waking up. He looked around. It was daytime. "Wha...? Oh. It was just a dream. Whew...", he muttered. Just then, the rest of the gang woke up. "Hey look. It's the morning already", Jordan muttered. "It's Day 2 of the babysitting, and we still have a lack of babies", Ashley groaned. "We gotta find them. If we don't get them back in the next few days, there's a possibly we won't get paid! ... Oh, and that, and we'll have lost that couple's children to a murderous teen", Random Kid said. "We'd better get off of here. Where's the hang glider?", Random Girl inquired. "Over there!", Joel pointed. The hang glider was drifting off in the sea, too far away to retrieve.

"That stinks", Jordan groaned. HONK! HONK! "Huh?" The gang looked off, and it seemed a small boat was coming towards them. "Hey! You guys need a lift!?", the sailor shouted. "Oh! Yes! Yes!", the gang yelled, waving their hands. The boat stopped near the island, and our heroes got on and began their shipment back to New York City. "Hey, how you guys get stranded on Liberty Island?", one of the ship guys on there asked. "Heh. Well, you know how NYC got fried overnight, right?", Random Kid asked. "Yeah. A whole section of it went down in flames. Hardly anyone got out alive", the ship guy remembered. "Well, we were able to escape and swam over here", Random Girl added. "I see. You folks are pretty lucky. It's gonna take years to rebuild everything", the ship guy lamented.

After some minutes, the ship docked near a section of NYC that hadn't been affected by the burn and they got off. "So, you guys got anywhere you need to go?", the ship guy asked. "Meh, not really", Ashley replied. "Yes we do! The plane, remember?!", Joel said. "The plane? Where ya going?", the ship guy asked. "We booked a flight for Florida", Joel explained. "Florida? The plane there's about to leave in about five minutes!", the ship guy said. "Five minutes?! We gotta go!", Jordan shouted. The gang hastily dashed off for the airport!

Meanwhile, the real A. Louis was watching all this through some sort of television. "They're hitchin' a ride here, eh? Alright. They want a fight, I'll GIVE them a fight!", he growled. "Listen, A. Louis. If you hate them so much, why bring me into this?", Sarah groaned. "I told you! I need to lure them in with you and your stupid siblings so I can kill 'em when they're here!", A. Louis explained. "Who you calling 'stupid'?", one of Sarah's brothers asked. "Yeah!", one of Sarah's sisters agreed. "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!", all the kids shouted, now waking up from their long slumbers. "Shut up!", A. Louis yelled. Everyone went quiet.

"Don't worry. I'll let you all free", A. Louis offered. "Yes! When?", Sarah asked. "Once Joel and his friends are dead...", A. Louis grimaced. "... Well... what if they beat you?", Sarah retorted. "... I kill YOU...", A. Louis said deviously. Sarah gulped.

Meanwhile, the gang hastily raced to the perimeters of the airport and rushed inside! It was filled with a whole bunch of people. "Plane 90217 to Florida will be departing shortly...", a woman on the loudspeaker announced. "That's our plane!", Ashley screeched. "Come on, let's go!", Random Kid instructed. They quickly brushed past the passengers, often bumping into them and pushing them to the ground. "Oof! Aah! Eek! Whoa! Watch it, crazy kids!" "Plane 90217 to Florida is now departing..." "NO!", Joel screeched. The gang got to the exit to the outside. "Hey, where are you going?!", the man at the door asked.

"We've got to get to that plane!", Joel told him. "Really? Do you have a ticket?", he asked. "No, but --" "Then you're not getting on. Good-bye." "Listen here, you rotten man, we've been through a LOT and you are NOT gonna stop us from getting where we need to be!", Random Girl said. "Wait, look... I'm defying you! I'm stopping you from getting where you need to be!", the man purposely acted like a jerk. Jordan jumped up and pinched the guy in the neck! "Waagh!", the man cried, tears streaming from his eyes, and collapsed on the floor, dead. "He asked for it", Jordan said, simply. "Whatever, let's go!", Joel added.

The gang rushed outside to see the plane taking off! "No!", Joel yelled. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a grappling hook which he shot! The hook shot far and caught onto one of the wings of the plane! "Whoa!", Joel shouted as he was lifted off into the air! "Hey!", Ashley called from below. "Take my hand!", Joel instructed, holding out his hands. Ashley grabbed on, and began to ascend. "Say, this is --" GUNSHOT! GUNSHOT! "Waah!!!"

Officers rushed out of the airport and into the take-off zone, shooting at our heroes. "Waah!", Jordan, Random Kid & Girl yelled in distress as they ducked on the ground! "Wait for us!", Random Kid shouted. "Ugh...", Joel groaned. He quickly threw Ashley up into the air! "Wha-ha-ha!", Ashley screeched as she landed on the top of the plane! The hook unattached itself from the wing and Joel started to fall! He shot the hook at the rest of his friends on the ground! The hook tied around Random Kid's neck and pulled him up right as a bullet sped past him! "Aak!", Random choked.

Jordan and Random Girl grabbed onto Random's foot and soared up! "No! Don't let them get away!", an officer screamed. With one quick swiff of the hook, Joel catapulted Random, Jordan, and Random Girl up on the roof of the plane! Random quickly untied the hook from his neck and took a deep breath. However, the hook then retreated back to the grapple... with Random still on it! "Huh?!" Random Kid crashed into Joel and they fell through the air! The officers shot rapidly! Joel and Random were pelted by the bullets!

"Ugh...!", they both groaned. With his last ounce of strength, Joel shot the grappling hook once more time! The hook zoomed and caught onto the plane's wing, pulled Joel and Random towards it! One of the officers bit off the top of a grenade and hurled it at them! Joel and Random landed on the top of the plane as the grenade landed next to them! "Waah!", the gang shouted. They jumped into the plane through an escape hatch and landed in third class.

"Um... hey, how's it goin'...", Jordan greeted as the passenger's stared bewilderedly at them. The gang rushed to the cockpit. "Hey, driver, there's a bomb on the roof!", Joel tried to explain. "What?", the driver asked. "A bomb! It'll explode any second! You've got to --!" "Tsk, tsk. Kids, have you not read 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'? It's not good to lie about --" "I'm not lying! We're all gonna --!" "Now, you silly kids. Don't you think if there was a bomb on the roof, we'd know about it?"

BOOM!

"What was that?" "That, Mr. Pilot, was the bomb that exploded." "..." "Yeah." We all rushed to the roof of the plane and saw that most of the back was on fire. "Holy --!", the pilot shouted. "Watch it, this is a children's story... somewhat", Joel broke the fourth wall. The fire started spreading! "We've got to put out that fire and --!" BOOM! Another chunk of plane exploded due to the intense heat. Now smoke was covering the entire roof and the plane could be felt as descending. "Cough, cough! We've got to get out of here!", Random Girl shouted. "Now, kids, let's -- Whoa, hoa, hoa!", the pilot stammered. He slid down the roof! "Mr. Pilot!"

"Nooo!!!", the pilot screamed as he fell off the side and plummeted into the ocean below! Did I mention we were over the ocean? Yeah, we were. "Well... we're screwed", Ashley said. "You JUST noticed that?", Ashley retorted. "We need to get back into the plane!", Joel yelled. They jumped back into the plane. Jordan shouted into the loudspeaker, "Listen people, you have all got to evacuate immediately! The plane is on fire! Repeat, the plane is on fire!" Silence. "What? No one wants to live here?" Silence. "Oh okay, then. I see how it is."

"This is no time to keep horsing around. It's every man --", Random Kid started. "Ahem!", Ashley and Random Girl cleared throats. "--and woman --" "That's much better." " -- for him --" "Ahem!" " -- and her --" "Very good." " -- self!" Random Kid jumped out the window and fell down! "... Well, I don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good deal", Random Girl replied. She jumped down, too. "Well hey, I didn't plan on getting burnt to a crisp 'till my 37th birthday, so...", Jordan said, jumping down as well. "Come on Joel, we can't stay here", Ashley said. "What? I'm not jumping down there into who knows what! Heck, I might even die upon crashing into the water!", Joel refused.

Ashley grabbed Joel and tossed him out the window! She followed too. "Aaah!", Joel screamed as he fell down. "Hey, ain't this fun?", Ashley asked. "YOU TRYIN' TO KILL ME, MON?!!", Joel yelled. "Hey, don't go all Ren and Stimpy on me now", she replied. The two looked up at the plane. Any minute now, it would explode, killing all inside. However, this did not happen. How? Well, it all started back when I was a boy. My mother was in the birth, groaning and screaming with pain, waiting for me to come out from wherever the heck I was into the bright new world she had been in for a good 40 years. Of course, I had no control over this, and I was just a mere baby, but if I could decide, I'd like to stay in there for the next couple of hours, at least enough for me to beat the next gym leaders in my Pokemon game. Yeah, that's right, they have Game Boys for unborn babies now.

Anyway... this is going nowhere, isn't it? Well, the truth is, a couple of Italian construction workers happened to be the only ones bothered by the plane descending, while everyone else chatted. "Hmm. This-a is-a very-a uncomfortable-a", one of the guys said. "Why-a don't-a cha go check-a it-a out-a", the other guy suggested. "That-a is-a very good-a idea!", the first guy agreed. This guy went up the escape hatch to the roof and found it full of flames! "Mamma mia! That's-a big-a flame-a!", he screamed. He went back down and told his co-worker "The entire-a roof-a is-a on-a fire!" "What-a?! This-a is-a job for-a couple of Italian construction-a workers-a!", the other shouted.

And in cheesy 60s movie montage, they went up to the roof with supplies at hand and put out the fire as well as fixed the parts of the plane that had been messed up. They then went to the cockpit and started driving. "Passengers-a, your-a trip-a to-a Florida will-a go as-a scheduled!", one of the guy said over the loudspeakers. Below, Joel and Ashley heard this and felt very annoyed. "I told you we should've stayed on the plane", Joel muttered. "Shut up. Just shut up", Ashley replied.